(The cover of vol. 1 of Side 3, a very primitive newsletter for members of the Gundam fan club of the same name. This text varies in difference against other zines and doujins of the era as its primarily focus was to share opinions, correspondence and even meet-ups with other fujoshi, queer members and even gift exchanges.)
Just how many Gundam fan club publications did M actually own? There were boxes upon boxes, some downright chocked full of fanzines ranging from poem anthologies to hentai of the most obscure order - as a close friend with individuals such as the late Ogata Satomi and Hideo Azuma, M's libraries were near inexhaustible with zines and doujinshi. I was admittedly overwhelmed searching through everything, nervous even, and had to pause several times to ask if I was somehow infringing on M's space and time. He offered me a soft laugh and told me that he didn't have much to do that day to begin with and was actually happy that I'd reached out. I even went so far as to politely ask M for a towel so I wouldn't destroy any of these rare books.
"They are already stained, it's alright!"
Our conversations culminated back to fan clubs when he mentioned to me that some of these books weren't zines in a typical fashion, but newsletters that were cheaply published and often served a dual purpose. These purposes, however, could range from anything under the sun - meet ups, hook ups, private sales and more dripped off the tip of his tongue as he looked up at his ceiling to account for it. Swap meets, according to him, to trade merchandise were common, as were quasi date nights where members would gather at cinemas and cafes. The possibilities were endless, though all the same covertly done. Anime was, in M's personal opinion, an embarrassing point in his own personal life, but the connections were important, fruitful and wholesome to the mind and body.
"Highschoolers and college kids were gathering after school and also took small jobs, but so did I. I worked for a convenience store, a candy shop, for a tailor and for lots of bookstores. My vacations were spent after a while getting funds together, meeting others, seeing family, but I couldn't be too selfish."
"-You'd make a little, but if you were a part of a fan club, you'd support any endeavor. I was picky, so I wasn't apart of the ones available at my school. Not during this (Gundam) phase, but a lot of my friends were young women."
As we spoke further, it became apparent that aspects of this phenomena was, in fact, a behemoth of an undertaking. With fan clubs pumping their often times limited resources into producing zines and doujinshi anthologies, the creative force behind these projects seemed to outweigh the harsher realities that financing these publications took. While with M, I showed him a fanzine I was a part of in the beginning of 2022. Made in the digital age, the reach of free web hosting, digital downloads and more benefit modern groups in ways like never before. M was aware of sites such as BOOTH and Pixiv, both of which allow the option for digital downloading, and agreed naturally.
"If that (BOOTH) was available then, I believe there would have been more for us to see, but then again, there would be an issue with saturation. This is an issue now, and had it been that was a long time ago I don't think I could have had the patience to participate."
M was not shy to say that, as Otaku, the burgeoning social opinion of anime and manga fanatics was neither on the wayside though not a commonality as it is today, especially in the realm of queerness. "I think we as a people still have a long way to go there." he noted in regards to civil acceptance, though in the pages of these fanzines and newsletters, queer identities could thrive freely.
"The playful Side 3 staff members put all of their effort into delivering a collection of poems called PART 1." The cross examination of both Captain Harlock and Char Aznable blended together produce a unique parody adaptation known as "Captain Aznable". A meet up was held though had already taken place on August 13th of 1979 as this text was published on September 21st, 1979."
This particular fan club, Side 3, was apparently heralded by queer members and was, upon examination, printed as a copy book. All corners were cut, crossed, and sometimes abandoned with this particular issue, and my hands were covered in ink holding it. Having had survived the test of time, this particular text served as a newsletter for queer Gundam fans as well as the fujoshi who admired Char and Garma. The introductory notes reveal that the head editors were Nao Misaki (美崎直) , Jerry Asakura (浅倉ジェリー) , Takayuko Murao (村尾貴行) and "Darkness" (流暗), of which created several illustrations and writings indicative of the tone addressed.
Considered a joint magazine, there are several aspects that overlap documentation of events that happened among the group members - topics which possibly were only probably discussed among the fan club as this volume is the introductory issue. One cannot definitively say, though upon further research many of the members, working in the clandestineness of their situations, seem to have scrapped together whatever was possible to facilitate both meetings as well as the zine's production as is. The editors, all high school age girls and boys, participated in creating a zine where themes of crossdressing, gay relationships, and more are ever common - the refuting of queer individuals and identities in the Gundam sphere does, at this behest, prove more than one point.
Nao Misaki, possibly a pseudonym, appears to have later edited as late into 1987 on Saint Seiya doujinshi compilation books post 0079 Gundam, though their early tone is both endearing yet desperate; "If you have any Gundam photos or production materials, we are asking for more copies. Due to the painful fate of our rather weak F.C. (fanclub), we don't have enough money to make our own! Screentone borders are very expensive! We are waiting for any and all voluntary donations. Best regards, NAO."
Further reading gives access to more correspondence as well as addresses to the individual editors, though welcomes others to share addresses with the fan club as to organize events and get togethers for the "like minded". There are are also notations of seeing individuals who look just like he beloved Gundam characters that grace the pages of this newsletter.
"One day in July, I boarded my beloved school train, the Tobu Line, and went out to try and meet the staff (at Sunrise). On the way, a person who looked exactly like Mr. Degwin Zabi got on board and I thought 'huh?'. Then, they casually sat down and right in front of me. I turned my attention to the left and shifted my gaze to - oh my God! This one looks just like Kycilia!"
This particular newsletter seemed, in all honesty, innocent. Digging further into the readers, it appears that a few were involved in several Animage themed fan clubs alongside being Captain Harlock enjoyers - a fanfiction submitted details Char and his father as a captain of a ship on Earth, blending and breaking aspects of canon with that of fandom driven ideologies in a way that is all the more unique. While the editing, as noted by Nao several times, leaves much to the imagination, there is nothing but heart and dedication to a text made by and for queer Gundam fans and fujoshi alike.
Looking for other versions of this newsletter and follow ups seemed impossible, and I even spent time with M to ask him if he knew anything further about the whereabouts of these individuals. Solemnly, even, he said no, but that the artists looked very familiar - "Amateurs, at best."
